I'm afraid that he'll leave me and all that we have. I'm afraid that I'm not enough and will never be enough. I'm afraid that we'll never get married (something I've been working towards). I'm afraid that even if he breaks up with the tart he'll want more and more and the line will never end. I'm afraid I'll be buried in it all. I'm afraid of being overlooked and forgotten and taken advantage of. I'm afraid I don't count and that my opinion won't matter. I'm afraid that he won't love me as much as he says he does now later on. I'm afraid that I'll be replaced. I'm afraid that when I move for my job, wherever it is, that the distance will be too much and he'll succumb to more partners and it will all spiral out of control.
But I'm afraid that even with as good as his communication skills are if I tell him all of these things he'll just say "oh honey, baby, that will never happen." and leave it at that. THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I NEED MORE than that.
Personally I'm also afraid that out of everyone that I'm close to NO ONE will understand and I will have to keep this a secret and I CAN'T do that. I don't know any "Monos in poly relationships". I don't have anyone I can talk to at home. There isn't anyone I can run to who has been through this or can help me.
I don't know what I need to feel better about this situation. I'm afraid that I won't EVER feel better about it. I am at a point where I'm very doubtful that anything will be helpful (But I'm trying!) and I can't think of any compromises that I want.
The only thing I want is for him to stop seeing this tart and be monogamous with me.
But I'm afraid that even with as good as his communication skills are if I tell him all of these things he'll just say "oh honey, baby, that will never happen." and leave it at that. THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I NEED MORE than that.
Personally I'm also afraid that out of everyone that I'm close to NO ONE will understand and I will have to keep this a secret and I CAN'T do that. I don't know any "Monos in poly relationships". I don't have anyone I can talk to at home. There isn't anyone I can run to who has been through this or can help me.
I don't know what I need to feel better about this situation. I'm afraid that I won't EVER feel better about it. I am at a point where I'm very doubtful that anything will be helpful (But I'm trying!) and I can't think of any compromises that I want.
The only thing I want is for him to stop seeing this tart and be monogamous with me.
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