...it's going to take a lot of work.

Life changed.

I'm single.

I'm trying to find my identity.

I have a ton of things I want to do. A ton of things I want to learn how to do.

There are new players in my life, and no I'm not going to give them nicknames (unless they want them).

I've always envied the people who go and travel everywhere or live this completely bohemian lifestyle. As you get older you realize you have to have a lot of money to do so. I'm going to try and make my life in this town as bohemian and "cool" as possible.

...it's going to take a lot of work.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

It's Over

This is going to be all over the place, just warning you.

It's over. "Sasha" and I are over. It's been over for a while now, actually. We temporarily separated the week before Thanksgiving of 2011, he moved into the extra bedroom even. At the end of Feburary he ended it for good. We promised we would be amicable through the end of the lease and it was going alright... save a very awkward and drunken on my part New Years eve party.

Three weeks later, while logging onto my computer and gmail I saw he had left himself logged in (I let him get on my laptop because his computer was broken). I had had a suspicion for a while that he was going to move on a lot faster than I would and sure enough while searching his gmail...GASP I invaded privacy! Whatever, I'm not sorry nor will I ever be. I discovered he had been having an affair for almost two years at that point. I called him, screaming and crying, and he didn't come home after that.

I kept names secret because I wasn't sure about the subject matter and I didn't know what I wanted to let fully on the web. Here I will give you the names of the people involved in my posts.

Sasha = Alex Rushing
Tart = Jess
Zi = Lindsey Gallucci
Fargo = Luke

I think those are the only people I mentioned by name in my blog. Oh yeah, my name is Lea.

I won't be deleting my past posts because they reveal a lot of who I was and what I was really going through.

Who knows if I will continue with this blog and for how long but I know for the past few months there have been new players that have entered the arena that are helping me grow and be better people. Some are from my past that I have been reintroduced to and others are brand new to my life.

I have taken up sewing again. Not just costumes but actual clothes. (I am currently just focusing on dresses because though I want to venture into tops, pants, and skirts I'm not ready to go over that hurdle just yet.) I have a new roommate (he's a baby! 21!), I am volunteering at a local pet shelter walking dogs, I have been baking every other week solidly for a year now, I still work at Safelite, I'm kind of working towards moving to Florida, and I really just want to discover my own identity. I realized that I was co-dependent with Alex (Sasha) and that my entire identity revolved around him. I'm trying to rediscover who I am and what I want to do.

Yeah...talk to you in like a year.

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